Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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