Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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