When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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