Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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