I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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