Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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