I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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